The Rules of Life in the Universe
1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3. There is absolutely no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.
4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
6. Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevent.
8. Someone who thinks logically is nice contrast to the real world.
9. Things are more like today than they ever were before.
10. Anything work fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
11. Everything should be made as simple as possible but not simpler.
12. Friends may come and go, but enemies aaccumulate.
13. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
14. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
15. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
16. All things being equal, the bigger you are, the more soap you use up.
17. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
18. One seventh of life is spent on Monday.
19. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion the life is serious.
20. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
21. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
22. This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.
23. Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
24. The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.
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